The Waiting Game: Finding Peace During College Admissions Decision Season
It's January, and if you're the parent of a high school senior, you know exactly what that means: the waiting period has begun. Your child has submitted their applications, and now you're all stuck in this strange limbo between "done" and "what's next?"
After years of supporting seniors through the college admissions process, I've noticed some common patterns during this waiting period. You might be seeing or hearing things from your senior like:
"Everyone else is hearing back except me."
Withdrawing to their room more than usual
Constant portal-checking followed by visible disappointment
Comparing themselves to classmates who got early acceptances
Snapping at simple questions or becoming unusually quiet
Anxiety about opening emails or checking the mail
Saying things like “what if I make the wrong decision?”
Hate it when asked any questions from family or friends about where they are going to college
Sound familiar? If any of this resonates with what's happening in your home right now, keep reading.
Let's Talk About the College Admissions Narrative
Here's something I need to say plainly: the story that "college is impossible to get into" and "nobody gets in anymore" is doing real damage to our students and families.
I hear it constantly. Parents tell me, "I would never get into my alma mater nowadays," often said with a mix of pride and anxiety. But here's what that narrative misses: your child is not you. Their journey is uniquely theirs. And honestly? The vast majority of students DO find their place. They get into college. They thrive.
When we buy into the panic, we're letting fear write the story before we even know the ending.
The Noise Around Us
Think about the "noise" in your life right now—and I mean this broadly. Some noise is helpful: the fire truck siren that warns us to pull over, the cheers at your child's basketball game, the friend who calls when you need support.
But some noise? It's just static. It drowns out what actually matters.
During admissions season, toxic noise sounds like:
Social media posts about early decision acceptances from schools your child didn't apply to
Competitive conversations at school drop-off about who got in where
News articles with terrifying acceptance rate statistics
Well-meaning relatives asking "Have they heard yet?" for the hundredth time
Your own inner voice catastrophizing about "what if nowhere works out?" or “did anything I did in high school actually matter – am I good enough?”
A Quick Reflection Exercise
Take a moment right now. Grab a piece of paper or open a note on your phone.
List 5 sources of noise in your life right now—good and bad.
For each one, ask yourself:
What is this trying to communicate to me?
Is this healthy? Do I want more of it?
Is it blocking my ability to feel grateful and hopeful?
Let's be honest: Is this TOXIC?
What do you notice?
More importantly, why are you allowing noise about your child's future to come from anyone who doesn't have their best interests at heart?
*This is a great exercise for your child to do as well. Then perhaps compare your lists and have a family dialogue. It may be relieving for your senior to know that you deal with these same challenges they do, but it may not be on the front page of every social media feed at your stage of life.
What Your Child Needs From You Right Now
When your child comes to you comparing themselves to peers—who got in where, who heard back when, what if the college they choose doesn’t seem good enough—they need you to be their anchor, not another source of anxiety.
Here's a powerful reframe: Think of waiting as a pause, not a punishment.
This is not dead time. This is preparation time.
Ask yourself (and maybe your child):
What is this stage preparing us for?
What if it all works out?
You have options! I know you will make the best decision when the time comes
What can we be grateful for right now?
Because here's the truth: you can only control so much in life. One door may close, and another will open. Your job isn't to force open every door—it's to help your child walk through the right one when it appears.
Think of waiting as a pause, not an anxiety-provoking punishment —
a moment to rest or prepare.
Practical Tips While You Wait
Instead of obsessing over what you can't control, focus on what you can:
Stay on top of requirements:
Check college portals regularly for any requests
Submit mid-year transcripts when they're ready, if the college needs them
Respond promptly to any college communications
Get smart about money now, not later:
Check scholarship portals at schools where your child has been admitted, and apply to every institutional scholarship available
Visit financial aid pages for admitted schools
Find the total cost of attendance (not just tuition—include room, board, fees, books, travel)
Calculate your actual expected cost after any merit aid already offered
Have the affordability conversation NOW
Find local scholarships to apply to
I cannot stress this enough: "We'll figure it out when the time comes" is not a plan. It's a recipe for heartbreak when a student falls in love with a school that the family genuinely cannot afford. Protect your child (and yourself) by being honest about financial realities before decision day arrives.
Give yourself permission to rest: Remember when your child was drowning in applications and essays, and you both just wanted it to be over? Well, it's over. This is the break you asked for.
Encourage your senior to enjoy what's left of senior year. Go to the basketball game. Sleep in on Saturday. Spend time with friends. Watch a movie together. Encourage them to seek opportunities to be curious and still explore things they care about and that interest them that they did not have time to do before (or had to put on pause). The colleges will send their decisions, whether you spend January and February worrying or whether you spend it living.
If your child needs more structure and to work on things that will fundamentally support their growth toward young adulthood, I can support with resume building, mock interview preparation, and continued self-discovery related to their natural aptitudes, gifts, talents, and personalities that lead to better decision making when choosing classes in college, major, and career paths.
You Are Not Alone
I know this is easier to read than to do. Anxiety doesn't respond well to logic. If you or your child needs someone to talk to—someone to remind you that you ARE enough, that you WILL land where you're supposed to be, and that all these emotions are completely normal—I'm here.
Reach out. Ask questions. Vent. Process.
This is what I do, and I genuinely mean it: I'm here for you.
The college admissions process is full of unknowns, but one thing is certain—your child's worth is not determined by an acceptance letter. And wherever they end up, they'll be exactly where they need to be.
Interesting Fact: Stefanie was not admitted to Saint Mary’s College - Notre Dame at first. My future of playing basketball there seemed somewhat grim based on the initial news, deferred. However, I took initiative back in 1999 when it was not even a thought to write a LOCI (letter of continued interest), and I asked admissions what else I could do to support my application. In that year of admission, it was appropriate, and since they were not overwhelmed by tens of thousands of applications, they asked me to write another essay. I did so, and my decision turned from a defer to an admission!
*Please do not do this today, in 2026, as colleges now have a process for when you should fill out more information in their portal to stay on their deferred list to be considered in the regular decision admissions round, write a LOCI, or do nothing. This story was just to share that I have been there and felt all the feelings just like you, and you will find your place as the chips fall!
Questions? Thoughts? Need someone to talk you off the ledge? Contact me—I'd love to hear from you. stefanie@wayforwardcollege.com
